and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
