why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
