Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
