i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
