Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
