More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
where are you?
Hypothermia
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
His nipple licking is glorious
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