you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
