OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
