Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
