the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
