"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
