I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
