I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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