I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she peed on how many people?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
At least life still wants to fuck me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
