Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
