I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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