now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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