let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
