I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
