How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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