Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Randomize
