it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I understand Curling. That high.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
