I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Randomize
