I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
