I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
