i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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