You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
