Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
