He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I fill condoms, not promises.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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