She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
