Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I party with great urgency now.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
