Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
