Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
