turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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