Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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