I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my being single is dangerous.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just invented taco cereal.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
