I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Randomize
