I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
