Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
