he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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