you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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