Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
