Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Randomize
