you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
