haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
