What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
