You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
