We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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