I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
