You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize