I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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